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Tournament Leaderboard AsG Top 10

  There has been 37 successful Åsgard tournaments since 04/09/05

  position / participated in / won / runner-up in

  1. Sub Zero (20/12/3)
  2. Hundredth (28/5/5)
  3. MentiX (19/5/1)
  4. Storm (18/3/3)
  5. Radiance (14/2/2)
  6. Staszek (9/2/1)
  7. NanoSaurus (16/1/3)
  8. Drummerdude48 (7/1/3)
  9. Howl (7/1/2)
  10. Shakkazulu (16/1/1)
Populous Reincarnated
Top 1000 League Table
AsG Top 10

  AsG position / Pop:Re position / points / daily average

  1. Nefarius (#1/5,452/3.50)
  2. Ragnj (#6/3,280/1.69)
  3. shakkazulu (#19/2550/1.30)
  4. Sub Zero (#23/2,383/0.93)
  5. Radiance (#25/2,346/0.96)
  6. Storm (#27/2,118/1.17)
  7. Hundredth (#32/2,034/0.85)
  8. Sunny (#51/1,707/0.93)
  9. Snak (#52/1,699/0.85)
  10. Mentix (#57/1,635/0.64)
Populous Reincarnated Clan Leagues

  Most points ever in a month was 791 in December 2006.

  Åsgard has claimed 1st place in the clan leagues 13 times, 18 2nd places and 73rd places in 48 months of recorded stats.

Stats and Info
  - We have 32 registered users
  - Members - Vanir: 32
    Recruits - Valkyrie: 0
  - Our users have posted a total of 78657 articles since 05/08/05
  - Most users ever online (forums) was 34 on 11/09/09
  - Most users ever online (matchmaker) was 14 on 12/11/06:
  - ::click for original image::

# 4-word Story

Author: Hundredth Created: 09 September 2008 Edited: 25 October 2008, 13:52 by DAroo

4-word Story

contributions from Radiance, Sub Zero, Hundredth, AdamDM, Keith52, SewerAssassin, Drummerdude48, Snak, Yekralc, homeboy, Fury, Peaveyplaya, Salty, shakkazulu, Smowy, Howl, Storm, MentiX, Boyd and Ninety.

Once upon a time sub was on the verge of deleting all shit arsed forum games. but suddenly someone decided to do it themselves. so radiance shot sub and subs idea flopped. radiance entered a pub, and drunk too much and logged onto AsG, and saw that he was getting shit off sub for making this apparently stupid thread that annoys sub to hell.

jesus was drinking tea, so sub smacked radiance and jesus told sub to hit him harder, so sub decided to flying kick his testacles but as tiger had no testacles, sub ran and told jesus to give him tits so that he knocks sub's front door and says: ‘hi nice to meet you, here are some cookies for your Dog, see if he chokes on them, would you like to see my own brand new Pink thong and matching nice pink lace bra?’

‘hell no’ says sub. Sub ran to the toilet and immediately began doing something very disturbing… meanwhile, radiance entered and joined in with a big big plastic balloon, for they were making a big suprise party.

The next morning a big male dog shot past a female dog at intense speed. Next came a brown horse with Radiance on its back, singing a song about populous, AsG and how idiotic ghost is when he bakes pancakes in a top hat and ladies panties. But unfortunately for ghost, he was caught and exposed at the "yer da" cafe, which was a meeting place for scots and various Scandinavian folk.

rag and kidd were enjoying a game of poker, when suddenly their poker table exploded amid.a very tense hand. "A STRAIGHT FLUSH??!?" shouted an amateur who had looked over rag's shoulder, but to no avail as he had discovered that rag had easily no idea what he was doing playing poker. So ttylamno decided to dance naked on the hands cos he had to entertain the great amount of pelicans that had landed on his freshly bought chili dog. But suddenly there was a very bright light blinding those less fortunate who werent wearing ray-ban. Ray-ban shortages had spread all the way to the united states of whatever.

‘Ray-ban is so 1960s’, said John The pom, who really wanted some juice in his high tech jock strap, which was empty because he was actually she and she liked to dress as a big panda. John once ate a whole leg of penguin, covered delicately in salami and delicately pink delicates of the parliament. george bush was interested in socio-economic reform. Once he'd got over his very extremely small micro waveable garlic bread, he received a phone call. The conversation involved a lot of incoherable words and some coriander elephants.

A big bang echoed in the background, disturbing the flamingoes in the nearby woods off the M1's Birmingham truckstop. The tramp at the end of the universe mumbled 'MOOOOOO MOOOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOO' while Rag's poker game ended in a bloodbath. Then Randomiser realised he sucks his cock frequently, since he didn't have a pig in his piggy bank.

Back at the ice cream van, things started to heat up. Everyone was jumping over the cow shaped moon when the 4-word story descended into a state of total madness because it JUST wanted to start all over again, and it did.

Once, twice, three times the gay ones were targeted by homophobic Maltese who in fact were closet dwelling fairy cakes. The threat of pesticides made Chewbacca rather teary, which in turn caused said fairy cakes to organise 'Buttercream Festival'. The fest was a big waste of precious time.

However Chewbacca's mood was uplifted by the 4-brom-2,5-dimethoxyphenethylamine concoction he had just robbed from the local primary school science fair and insert in his nasal passage, buy using a very big hammer and a "how-to-snort" guide that was in the big hammer. Leprechauns stormed onto the scene out of Chewbacca's addled sense of reality. He moaned as they flung leprechaun gold into his really enormous pocket until it was brimming.

"Hi ho ho" said the largest leprechaun whilst standing on his hind haunces, peacefully licking his tomatoes while he was trying to sniff his small hand made leather shoes. Jedi Master Mannin appeared, nasally engulfing the shoes when MooresMurder told him of Homebase's screwdriver sale to screw us all to Screwtopia. Mannin jumped with joy, realising that he sucked really bad tasting noddles on tuesdays.

From far away, a noodleolgist discovered Mannin's strife concerning vacuum cleaning noddles. Mannin was very happy, because he was being raped by Moores in an unusual way. Radiance shot them both but then realised that they were still alive, so he reloaded and shot them both again! An angry mob then went to their funeral and laughed at them. As their shoes filled, the dirty dirt started to disintegrate into a strangely lifelike portrait of Richard Branson. The resemblance was truly uncanny!

Journalists were all pouring pot noodles over televisions in an attempt to control the whole world, by destroying TV for personal satisfaction. They tried to attack radio next, but the radio stations were protected against any machine, gun, weapon and had a years supply of vac packed food.

"HOLY TURTLE EXCREMENT" excalimed one of them, scared shitless. "I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I AM SEEING!"....

to be continued!